Wyvernsrose: Who am I?

Hello

I know I chat from experience often enough but I never really introduced myself so I figured it was about time. It is the right time since it is the end of Mental Health Month! I spread the word for everyone else, I would be a hypocrite if I failed to add my own voice to the chorus!

My name is Margaret, I am 31 divorced with 3 children, I care for my partner who deals with Bipolar disorder, PTSD Fibromyalgia ….and a long list of other things which simply complicates the rest.

I also cared for my mother with severe PTSD and anorexia from the age of 10 til I was in my 20’s when we begun to see real recovery when she was finally correctly diagnosed. she had been misdiagnosed with depression, bipolar disorder…for 20 years, there were weeks when she would attempt suicide multiple times a week every week of the month there would be an attempt, serious attempts by her, they were interrupted they didn’t fail every attempt almost succeeded, 76 attempts recorded at just one hospital of half a dozen she was treated at, our lives were spent watching her like a hawk between going through the motions of school, work and chores. At one point even I tried, I couldn’t see the light, and then I realized if I did then there was no light for her. Today she is a loving grandmother to my children.

in 2005 I left a 7year relationship which was controlling, manipulative, degrading, and even violent. He actually got worse after I left…leading to my eventually being advised by police to leave the town I grew up in and where all my friends and family were….so I went to what some would consider extreme efforts and got the money together to pack up what I had managed to accumulate since the separation and move it and myself and three children under 6 from one end of our continent to another, where all I had was an Aunt I had hardly seen in 20 odd years and some cousins who were busy pursuing study and social lives. It was terrifying but we did it, we pulled it off, my Partner is worth his weight significant that it is, in GOLD. I told him “I have to leave you are welcome to come with me”, so he too left everything behind to help me make the leap. We did it, we made it, we spent 1 year in total scattered across 3 years…homeless, and jumping between emergency accommodation, caravan park cabin’s, tents, family and friends living rooms on air beds, Staying in Vacant shops, and even sleeping in the car. BUT now we own our own home…AND I AM NOT MOVING!

My partner had spent a great deal of time misdiagnosed with major depression and borderline personality disorder, he was essentially left on Fluoxetine under multiple brand names for almost 2 decades in spite of repeatedly asking for help and stating that it wasn’t working. the problem was not noncompliance as was eventually admitted by doctors the problem was that he took his meds.

I am not anti meds, he is now finally correctly medicated and it took a great deal to get him accurately diagnosed and the right medication. I am interested in a minimal approach to medicating, I do not condone over medicating people need to have quality of life and some level of function to even be remotely considered “treated”zombies are not treated they are merely sedated.

I have three kids two of which are suspected to have ADHD one of the two also believed to suffer from depression. Neither at this stage are medicated I want them to be absolutely certain before a direction is taken as to treatment.

I have managed PTSD for 15 years so far unmedicated but it is not easy, I manage (actual) severe PMS with vitamins when it becomes an issue. I manage my asthma with diet primarily although I make sure my medications are available when required. I have had Endomitriosis since I was 14 and currently trying to get treatment again, I also have arthritis in both knees and my spine.

I live with a great deal of pain daily some days are worse than other’s. at home I cannot always help with the housework and I am certainly no housewife, we care for each other. I am his hug machine you see….he runs on hugs and sunshine. my role is to manage our finances (to protect against manic spending our budget is TIGHT) in full Borg resistance is futile style! make sure the bills are paid, try to keep him out of trouble and attempt to keep him in touch with reality when the lines blur.

I started this page because I was sick of not being able to see in my newsfeed the links friends were wanting to share in the bipolar groups we all used. and so I suggested a page to all the admins of all the bipolar groups which they could ALL Use to share the latest news research and articles one source for all……and i built it……and they didn’t use it…..so I figured STUFF them I will! It spams a bit but it serves the purpose and I haven’t been growled at yet…;p and if you did I would just say if you don’t like it don’t like it ;p

anyway it has grown….

before my body gave up on me and I was still working I networked, I consulted, I organised events and managed buildings, businesses and markets….

now that I can’t move too well I do what I can, this page is something I can do for you, I can’t walk in walkathons or run in fun runs I can’t travel for protests….but I can spread the word, I can watch and see what is happening in the world in relation to mental health so that we all can know what is happening and what needs to be done.

and through letters, phone calls, local meetings and alot of time (I don’t move as fast as I did and the bad days are many atm) I will work towards decent facilities in one of the WORST provisioned regions in Victoria, Australia in relation to mental health……..any way that I can!

I am currently on morphine patches so I may get a little funky at times for which I apologize, feel free to laugh at me when it happens :p I do we can always /facepalm tomorrow!

2 responses to “Wyvernsrose: Who am I?

  1. sharon

    My hubby was diagnosed in 2010 with bp, following attempts to take his own life. It has been very hard since then with learning about bp, getting to know my hubby again as he is a different person and trying to be the person he now wants me to be. We also have a 9 year old son. Thank you for your story, sometimes I feel so alone.

  2. we are never alone….remember that. while it is quite isolating there are more of us out there than many realise…..

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