Over the last year or so I’ve started to notice that I just can’t remember things like I used to. I forget what I’m going to the store for, or a bit of this or that for work. Usually its something little and usually when I’m feeling a bit more manic than usual. Hubby and I had discussed if it were my treatments that was making me a little less able to remember things. I’ve even toyed with the idea of looking into lithium because it’s known to enhance gray matter…. The only issue is that it makes you nearly catatonic. Not a place I want to be.
Today I began on a good note, things were well. I did gain a bit again on the Wii, which always annoys me. There’s issues with the extended family as I’ve ranted about before. The job situation is still on hold for hubby and mine seems to have stabilized.
Yesterday we sold our last puppy so our business, ETKennels, is now officially closed. Lots of stuff going through my head. I then see a blog post on FB by the Bipolar Family Support Group Page that says that Bipolar disorder and memory loss are very common.
Reading through the comments I felt as though they were telling my story. I quickly ran to my favorite learning tool (Google) and search for bipolar and memory. The results were astounding. I had no idea that they were related. Granted I’ve really only been actively living with bipolar and not ignoring it for the last 7 years.
I was and am still afraid that one day I’ll end up a shopping cart lady. Walking around the street, dirty and alone. I’m so afraid that I’ll be crazy. I hate that when I do finally realize that I’m having a mania that it’s only after someone points it out to me and usually that someone is hubby. He has to deal with me with all this.
I think he’s up for a Sainthood soon.
So after it’s over, and you’re coming down, when the world slows down and you can finally see the other side of the room, reach out to that person that you have there. Tell them you love them. Tell them thank you and mean it. Reach out and embrace the sparkle.
Links on Memory Loss & Bipolar
Namaste & Blessed Be